Octopodial Chrome

There’s new evidence that the USS Liberty was deliberately sunk by the Isrælis in 1967. If Isræl (quite properly) hunted down Eichmann and hanged him for his crimes, can we expect them to hand over those responsible for the decision to sink and the pilots who did the actual shooting? I rather doubt it.

While visiting with Stephen we took the Pacific Surfliner from San Diego to Oceanside; it’s a cheap $13 ticket and a 50 minute ride (shorter than the drive would be in realistic traffic). The train is much nicer than a plane: they have real food and beer (e.g.Stone Pale Ale); the seats are larger; there’s more space to move; there are even tables at which one can play cards and so forth. All in all, it was an excellent experience.

So why don’t we use the train more often? Well, there are a plethora of reasons, but the three biggest would be: cost, time and inconvenience.

I took a quick look at a train leaving the thirtieth of October from Denver to Fort Worth, returning on the fifteenth of November (I chose the dates to be far in the future and didn’t specify morning or evening trains—just give me the cheapest option, please). There’s a train from Denver to Galesburg, Illinois (fifteen hours) with a five-hour layover, then from Galesburg to Kansas City (four-and-a-quarter hours) with a two-hour layover, then a bus from Kansas City to Oklahoma City (eight hours) with a twenty-minute layover, then finally from Oklahoma City to Fort Worth (four-and-a-quarter hours). All told, I would leave Denver on the evening of the thirtieth of October and arrive in Fort Worth the morning of the first of November.

The return trip would be slightly better: Fort Worth to Springfield, Illinois (twenty hours) with a two-hour layover; then a bus from Springfield to Galesburg (two-and-a-quarter hours) with a two-hour layover; then finally a train from Galesburg to Denver (sixteen hours). I would leave early the afternoon of the fourteenth and arrive early in the morning of the sixteenth.

The cost of this trip? The southbound journey would cost $234; the northbound $196; booked together it comes to $323. An airplane ticket would cost $204. Amtrak is $119 more expensive.

One of the $204 flights I found leaves Denver at 1340 and arrives in Dallas/Fort Worth at 1630—a two-hour flight (remember there’s a time zone change); the return trip leaves at 1400 and arrives at 1500—again, a two-hour flight. Granted, one should arrive at an airport two hours ahead of time, and it takes about half an hour to collect one’s baggage: so each flight is really four-and-a-half hours long. Taken together, the flights would be nine hours; Amtrak would take four days longer.

So the train would cost half again as much as flying and would take six and a half times as long. But it’s more pleasant than flying? Well, not actually. It could be, but none of those trains have sleeper cars. So I’d be spending almost five days living in a train seat. This is not my idea of fun. And there’s no checked baggage on at least a few of the routes, so I’d have to be managing my baggage and keeping an eye on it the entire time. Also, although I don’t smoke often (maybe two or three pipes a week), I do enjoy it, particularly when bored (as I would be on a train). Amtrak used to have smoking cars, but no longer. One can smoke on the platform when waiting for a train, but only if the local state or city permits it. So that’s one less thing to do during the mind-numbing five-day journey. Also, I like to travel with a firearm, as is my right: airlines allow me to check a gun, but Amtrak forbids both checked and carry-on weapons (they don’t seem to search, but it is against the rules). Last but by no means least, the schedules given above are ideal: passenger trains have lower priority than freight trains, and so Amtrak trains are constantly delayed. There’s a reasonable chance a trip which takes nine hours by plane takes a week by train.

So let’s review: the train costs one-and-a-half times as much as the plane; it takes at least six to seven times longer; and it’s less convenient and more irksome. I’d have to be insane to take the train!

Which is a true pity: if there were a high-speed train from Denver to Dallas/Fort Worth (two large metroplexes separated by plains and which should be connected), there’s no reason it couldn’t make the trip in about nine hours each direction; it could be more spacious than a plane; it could offer nicer amenities than a plane; it could be cheaper and more efficient than a plane. As it is, Amtrak is a miserable failure.