Octopodial Chrome

Stuff that Made Sense at the Time

The Personal Weblog of Bob Uhl


Thursday, 29 March 2007

Marine Gunfight Rules

Recommended by my fellow-parishioner and -reader Capt. D., the rules for gunfighting are great.

  • Bring a gun. Preferably two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
  • Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
  • Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
  • Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.
  • If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
  • In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
  • If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
  • Use a gun that works every time. All skill is in vain when an angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket.
  • Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
  • Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
  • Have a plan.
  • Have a back-up plan, because the first one won’t work.
  • Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
  • Flank your adversary when possible and always protect yours.
  • Never drop your guard.
  • Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
  • Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust…everyone else keep your hands where I can see them).
  • Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough…hesitation kills.
  • The faster you finish the fight, the less injured you will get.
  • Be polite. Be professional. And have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
  • Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
  • Your number one option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
  • Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun the caliber of which does not start with a 4.

Words to live by.

Liberty Textbooks

Wouldn’t it be cool if there were a CD full of free textbooks that a professor could use instead of assigning $50–$100 dollar books? Fortunately, there is just such a CD. The LibertyTextbooks project is doing exactly that. Their next step is to offer printed books on a non-profit basis.

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

Two Monks...

A young monk walked with an elder monk on their way back to their temple after several days of travel. On the way, they came to a creek bed, the banks of which had softened to a wet, slushy mess. At the edge of the creek stood an attractive young woman dressed finely, who was obviously wanting to cross the water but had no idea how to contend with the mud. If she attempted to traverse it, her legs would surely sink shin-deep into the muck.

As they approached the young lady, the younger monk averted his eyes and looked down, for theirs was a stern discipline, and monks were not allowed to gaze upon a woman, let alone speak to or interact with her, particularly when the woman was as fetching and young as this one. To his horror, however, the older monk walked straight toward the woman and asked her if she needed to cross. The woman shyly said yes, and without another word, he hoisted her piggy-style onto his back and carried the woman across the creek. The younger monk followed them across the creek, stunned. Once on the other side, the woman profusely thanked her new friend, shook his hand, and resumed her journey, disappearing into the trees.

The young man was aghast, but respectful of his elder, he held his tongue. For three hours they walked side by side, all the while the student confused as to how his companion could so flagrantly violate one of the cardinal rules of their temple. The older one had, after all, not only engaged the woman, he had spoken to her, and then not only did he touch her, he carried her on his back! How could such a thing be justified?!

For another hour they walked in total silence, and finally came the point when the young man could stand it no longer. He stepped forward two paces and then whirled on his walking companion to face him in anger. How could you do that?! he shouted.

Do what? asked the older monk, looking at him.

He rolled his eyes. It is a sin to touch a woman, a violation to even gaze upon her, and yet you spoke with her. You…you…shook her hand! He sputtered in his anger. You carried her across the creek! You carried her!!

And you still carry her, said his older friend, smiling the faintest of smiles and bowing slightly. I left her back at the river.

Adapted from http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=801725&lastnode_id=0

Starter Bread

Nowadays most folks make their bread with storebought yeast; the older method was to keep a starter going (perhaps a lump of bread from a previous batch, perhaps flour colonised by wild yeasts and bacteria), and use it to propagate the leaven from loaf to loaf. I’ve been brewing for a dozen years, so I’m pretty comfortable with fermentation and keeping yeast and bacteria happy (all beer’s made with yeast—a type of fungus—and certain sour beers are also made with bacteria); I’ve even performed a wild fermentation using lactobacilli found on the outside of barley grains and recently made sauerkraut, so even spontaneous fermentation is nothing new to me. I’ve enjoyed breadmaking for the past year or so, so it makes sense to take my bread to the next level and quit using instant yeast.

Making a starter is pretty simple: put equal amounts of flour & water in a large jar (some references say to start with 1 cup each; others 2, but it works either way), then wait. There are wild yeasts in the air we breathe and on the flour we use, so the starter will start to bubble after a few days as the yeast get going. It’s then ready to use, or can be fed a tablespoon of flour a day in order to increase in size.

To use the starter, form a sponge of one cup each starter, water and flour, then let sit somewhere warm for 8–24 hours. Once the sponge is good & bubbly, stir in 3–4 cups of flour until it’s the proper dough consistency, then knead and rise as for any bread.

What I’m wondering is how sour my starter will become. The local flora are a strong influence on the taste of the starter (hence lactobacillus sanfranciscensis, the source of the famous San Francisco sourdough tang). My condo’s flora are composed of an absolutely huge number of yeasts from my brewing (and yes, brewer’s yeast and baker’s yeast are the same stuff), along with some lactobacilli from my cheesemaking and some acetobacter from my vinegarmaking. Right now the starter is really sweet-smelling, with a slight hint of alcohol (that’s from the yeast); will it sour, or is my air so choked with yeast that nothing else has much of a chance? Regardless, it’s all quite exciting.

For more on starter making, S. John Ross’s sourdough page is a useful reference.

Sauerkraut

I recently made my first batches of sauerkraut. It’s a traditional process: one slices cabbage, then massages it up with salt (2 teaspoons per pound). The cabbage slowly wilts and oozes water, which mixes with the salt to form a brine. If it doesn’t extrude enough juice, mix a brine from 1 tsp. salt per cup of water and add. Let the cabbage sit covered for 24 hours, stirring frequently, then put into Mason jars and let ferment. There are three bacteria found on the skins of cabbage which get to work and turn it into sauerkraut.

The first bacterium is one or another coliform, perhaps Klebsiella pneumoniæ, Klensiella oxytoca or Enterobacter cloacæ (mmm, that last one sounds tasty—not!). The coliform produces acid, making the brine more hospitable to leuconostoc, which produces yet more acid along with carbon dioxide. Finally, the lueconostoc is followed by a lactobacillus or perhaps a pediococcus, which finishes the fermentation, leaving the cabbage preserved in a tasty sour brine.

I got my recipe from Jack Schmidling’s recipe, which uses Mason jars instead of a crock. My one concern—I’m writing to a health safety office—is that the sealed lids might encourage botulism, which prospers in anærobic environments, and that his procedure works because he pasteurises the finished sauerkraut. I want to want to eat mine live, but I want even more to live, so I won’t be eating any unless I get a okay.

A biochemical overview of the process is found at the sauerkraut page of a University of Wisconsin professor.

March Mix

And here’s the March Mix, to go along with those from December, January and February.

  1. David Bowie: Changes
  2. Ben Lee: Whatever It Is
  3. The Beach Boys: Sloop John B
  4. Sarah Harmer: Basement Apartment
  5. Wilco: Kamera
  6. Soul Coughing: True Dreams of Wichita
  7. Neil Finn: She Will Have Her Way
  8. Jon Brion: Knock Yourself Out
  9. The Eels: Grace Kelly Blues
  10. Steely Dan: Gaucho
  11. Billy Joe: Vienna
  12. John Hiatt: Before I Go

A very nice little mix. I’m coming to dread November, when I will have finished the monthly mixes.

Tuesday, 20 March 2007

February Mix (a month late)

Sorry to have not posted the February Mix to go with my previous articles on the December and January mixes. This one is:

  1. Don McClean: American Pie
  2. Donald Fagen: Snowbound
  3. Modest Mouse: The Ocean Breathes Salty
  4. Supertramp: Crime of the Century
  5. Jon Bon Jovi: Livin’ on a Prayer (This Left Feels Right version)
  6. Tom Waits: Downtown Train
  7. Marvin Gaye: Mercy Mercy Me
  8. Jethro Tull: Bouree
  9. Elliot Smith: Memory Lane
  10. Aimee Mann: Wise Up
  11. Tracy Chapman: Fast Car
  12. U2: All I Want Is You

Once again DrFaustus delights the ears.

How One Man Became a Music Pirate

Read on to learn how the music industry’s insanity turned a man with upwards of $20,000 in records and CDs into a music pirate. Make a quality product at a reasonable price, and people will buy it. Make a rotten product at an insane price, and they won’t. Is that so hard to understand?

Bum Rush the Charts

A group are trying to make an indie song #1 on the iTunes Music Store in order to send a message to the RIAA. Seems to me that it’s just another way to line Apple’s pockets—on the other hand, if you were already going to be buying music on the 22nd, consider instead buying just this one song.

Giant Crystal Caverns

Found some cool pictures of absolutely gigantic crystals. They’re found in Mexico; perhaps I might talk my father into leading a family trip down there once the tourist attraction opens.

Waitress and Barmaid Prevent Date Rape

A waitress and barmaid in San Francisco prevented a date rape when they noticed a man slipping drugs into his date’s drink. Good to know that the Good Samaritan instinct survives.

Monday, 19 March 2007

Why Use Emacs?

Benjamin Ferrari examines why emacs is an excellent choice for a text editor. He’s quite convincing (although in my case preaching to the choir): we all write volumes of text on our computers, day in and day out; wouldn’t we want to optimise that activity as much as possible? Why then do people limit themselves to such sub-standard tools as Microsoft Word or Nisus Writer or vim? Using those to edit text is much like hammering nails with screwdriver.

My father’s life-work has been translating the services of the Church from Greek into Latin; I can only imagine how much further along he’d be if he were an emacs user.

The Invisible Man

Yesterday whilst flying home from Texas I lucked out and was seated next to a lovely young lady. Every time I fly I hope for such luck, and for years I have been disappointed: grandmothers, salesmen, middle-aged women and more have sat beside me, but never a pretty girl. This one was an absolute pippin: attractive, sweet, headed back to college after spring break. And I was completely invisible to her: just another middle-aged man, no more noteworthy than a servant, a hedge or a telephone pole. I’m only 28, for Pete’s sake! It’s not that I’d date a college girl anymore (they’re too young and know too little of the real world); it’s just that I wish that it were possible.

I suppose I’d better lay in a stock of Metamucil and Geritol now…

Thursday, 15 March 2007

Home aren't Great Investments

The Wall Street Journal points out that homes aren’t the excellent investments they’re cracked up to be. A must-read if you’re thinking of buying a house.

Wednesday, 14 March 2007

Belgian Beer Dinner

Last night the Falling Rock Taphouse (my favourite place in town) hosted a Belgian Beer Dinner. I’d bought a (not at all inexpensive )ticket a few weekends ago, and was very much looking forward to it.

Unfortunately, I completely forgot about until just now. After the last six weeks at work and the misery which the Daylight Savings Time change has imposed on us tech workers, I was so bloody worn out that I couldn’t remember a simple beer dinner. I don’t know what pisses me off more: that I wasted a not inconsiderable chunk of change, or that I missed a wonderful meal, or that I missed some excellent beers.

I have put in incredibly insane hours at work this year, working 60 to 80 hours a week because the blithering idiots in Washington thought it’d be a grand idea to extend Daylight Savings Time (that ridiculous exercise in statist planning). I’ve become a recluse with no life: I get up, I work, I go to sleep, then get up and work again. And of course we don’t get paid anything extra for overtime; we don’t even get paid at all for overtime. All I get for this sacrifice is the thanks of a grateful nation & a grateful corporation. That and two bucks will buy a cup of coffee.

And now, the one thing I was looking forward to; the one meagre light at the end of the tunnel—I miss it. Sure, it’s my fault: I should have remembered. But my job and Congress are partially to blame: if the powers that be hadn’t been vacuous airheads in both instances (in the one instance for ignoring the change until two months ahead of time, and in the other for ignoring the costs of their addle-pated decision), I would perhaps still have a few operative brain cells. Damn, damn, damn!

Pretty much nothing can cheer me up now. I shall probably be in a snit until August. Perhaps October.

Saturday, 10 March 2007

Tasting Notes

Today I rewrote my collection of beer tasting notes in Common Lisp (it used to be in Python). I used the Hunchentoot web server & the CLSQL set of SQL bindings; the former works like a charm and the latter is alright—it has a few annoying bugs, but I’ve been able to work around each one.

Next I have to work on actually updating it with data on a regular basis…

Friday, 09 March 2007

Groundbreaking Second Amendment Decision

The DC Circuit Court has issued an historical opinion regarding the right to keep and bear arms. The relevant portion is this:

To summarize, we conclude that the Second Amendment protects an individual right to keep and bear arms. That right existed prior to the formation of the new government under the Constitution and was premised on the private use of arms for activities such as hunting and self-defense, the latter being understood as resistance to either private lawlessness or the depredations of a tyrannical government (or a threat from abroad). In addition, the right to keep and bear arms had the important and salutary civic purpose of helping to preserve the citizen militia. The civic purpose was also a political expedient for the Federalists in the First Congress as it served, in part, to placate their Antifederalist opponents. The individual right facilitated militia service by ensuring that citizens would not be barred from keeping the arms they would need when called forth for militia duty. Despite the importance of the Second Amendment’s civic purpose, however, the activities it protects are not limited to militia service, nor is an individual’s enjoyment of the right contingent upon his or her continued or intermittent enrollment in the militia.

I found its discussion of the role of the militia in the early American republic to be highly interesting. As many know, the Founders were highly suspicious of the idea of a standing army (hence the Constitutional provision that Army spending bills be two years in length, with no such restriction on Naval bills), and much preferred the idea of a citizen. To that end, the Militia Act of 1792 made several provisions.

The first was that each and every free able-bodied white male citizen of the respective States, resident therein, who is or shall be of age of eighteen years, and under the age of forty-five years (except as is herein after excepted) shall severally and respectively be enrolled in the militia, by the Captain or Commanding Officer of the company, within whose bounds such citizen shall reside. In modern terms, this would mean that every single male citizen aged 18–45 would be part of the militia (with a few exceptions). This is actually the case under our current laws: I am, technically, a member of the militia.

The second provision of interest is that every member of the militia was required to provide himself with a good musket or firelock, a sufficient bayonet and belt, two spare flints, and a knapsack, a pouch, with a box therein, to contain not less than twenty four cartridges, suited to the bore of his musket or firelock, each cartridge to contain a proper quantity of power and ball; or with a good rifle, knapsack, shot-pouch, and power-horn, twenty balls suited to the bore of his rifle, and a quarter of a pound of power. This meant that almost every male citizen from 18–45 had a legal duty to own a weapon and the basic equipment needed for military service. Officers (who were wealthy volunteers) had to additionally purchase a sword or hanger (another sort of sword) and an espontoon (a type of short spear carried as a symbol of rank). After the militia was divided up into units, artillery officers had to add a fusee (a type of slowmatch) and a cartridge box with twelve artillery cartridges; cavalry privates each had to provide a horse, a sword, a pair of pistols and holsters with bearskin caps; a dragoon had to provide a horse, saddle, bridle, a mail-pillion & valise, holster, breastplate, crupper (used to keep the saddle on), a pair of boots, spurs, a pair of pistols, a sabre and a cartidge box with twelve pistol cartridges (obviously dragoons had a fair amount of money!).

Imagine if we still had this system today, with almost every male citizen owning a basic military kit, and those who wanted to serve in fancier units providing more (and the federal government providing those items too expensive for private ownership, such as tanks or armoured vehicles), and of course with a cadre of professional soldiers to serve as the backbone of the service. Instead of having city and state police, the state militias could provide police services. Instead of a huge standing army, we could get by with a much smaller force.

Some might argue that this system couldn’t possibly work. Yet it’s not all that different from the Swiss system—a system which kept Hitler’s Wehrmacht at bay. It’s an idea, anyway, and one which certainly have some salutary effects on our body politic.

Wednesday, 07 March 2007

How an 8 Year Old Beat Wall Street

An 8 year old Coloradan beat the market with a simple strategy: he sunk his money into a total stock market index, a total international stock index and a total bond market index. Last year his portfolio returned 17.73% versus the S&P 500’s 15.79; over the last five years, his would have returned an annualised 9.74% vs. 6.19%; over the last ten years, his would have returned 8.08% vs. 6.42%. And it does better than 80–85% of the mutual fund managers out there, with very low costs.

Tuesday, 06 March 2007

Planned to Death

Why ere eight high school students killed and more injured last week? It wasn’t the tornado; it was the emergency planners who didn’t allow the students to flee. After all, blind adherence to The Plan is the new American way.

We should attach a dynamo to Patrick Henry’s coffin; he could supply the energy needs of the entire continent.

iTunes Forbids Weapons Development?!?

Is this discussion of the iTunes license agreement correct? Does it really forbid the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missiles, or chemical or biological weapons? Does this mean that one cannot listen to music on iTunes whilst working on missiles, or that one cannot play audio files about nukes on iTunes?

It’s in a section about not violating US law, but the phrasing would seem to indicate that it applies no matter what. It’s not against the law to develop, design, manufacture or produce any of those things; you just need to do so under the proper auspices.

And of course it’s not illegal to develop, design, manufacture or produce missiles, period. Fletchers do it all the time.

Mac Office Users Microsoft's Guinea Pigs

MacWorld UK reports that Microsoft used Macintosh Office users as guinea pigs for Office features; the company also considered killing the product entirely in order to damage Apple. This is what happens when one is beholden to proprietary software. After all, Apple can test features out on its users, too. The only way to be free is to use free software.

Estrella XXIII

Well, for the fifth year in a row I’ve managed not to make it to Estrella War (an SCA war between the kingdoms of The Outlands, Atenveldt, Caid & Artemisia. Pictures & videos are slowly making it onto the web, though; here are a few good ones I’ve managed to find so far:

Calontiri & Outlands Forces
A nice pic of soldiers from Calontir and the Outlands milling about prior to battle. Calontir has the distinctive purple tabards, while my own Outlandish fellows wear the green tabards with the white hart. I don’t know any of this particular bunch, I think, as these are from al-Barran, as one can tell from their standard (see, heraldry is useful!). Incidentally, if you’ve ever seen a deer crossing sign with a little green crown sticker pasted over its head—then you know that someone from the Outlands has been nearby.
Bridge Battle
A short clip of a bridge battle. Not the greatest fighting in the world, but still…
A lady in German dress
It’s really nice to see someone make an effort, particularly with such a complex and time-consuming style. There are quite a few folks who don’t even really try. From the look on her face, I suppose that she’s singing.
Coursing Hounds
Some folks in Caid have done a fair amount of research into hunting & coursing with dogs. It’s a pretty new area for the Society, but looks like great fun.

Maybe I’ll manage a trip next year.

Monday, 05 March 2007

Breaking Music News

Apparently, an unreleased Jimmy Page guitar riff is to be retrieved from secret vault to save rock and roll. Naturally this is the last, best hope of mankind.

Starbucks' Problem

A good op-ed over at the LA Times today on the problems faced by Starbucks and other companies which go public. It’s hard to remember now, but there was a time when Starbucks was well-loved; nowadays it’s looked down upon as the McDonald’s of coffee (for that matter, there was probably a time when McDonald’s was well-loved, too). You see these same problems time and time again: the article mentions Starbucks’ aroma-sealing packaging and Krispy Kreme’s centralised doughnut-making operations, but my own favourite example is American mega-beer. The fundamental problem is the quest for consistency: large companies want the customer’s experience to be identical at each visit. Why? One of my favourite restaurants in Denver is the definition of inconsistent: the menu changes every day. I don’t have any idea what will be served, but I do know one thing: I will love it. I realise that coffee, doughnuts and beer are all made from natural ingredients: there will be variations. Just give me quality, and I’ll be happy.

Another problem, of course, is a stock market seeking growth rather than dividends. This is why private investment can be so much healthier for a company: it is free to do well and expand slowly, rather than expand quickly and deliver poor-quality goods.

Raid of Nassau

Saturday was the 231st anniversary of the Raid of Nassau, the first amphibious operation of the United States Navy and what would become the Unites States Marine Corps (they were known as the Continental Marines, first recruited at a bar known as Peggy Mullan’s Red Hot beef Steak Club at Tun Tavern—no joke).

Friday, 02 March 2007

Derbyshire on Names

John Derbyshire offers a dictum on names:

Far as I’m concerned, if it’s not in the Bible, Chaucer, Shakespeare, or Tennyson, and was not the name of any English king or queen, or of any Greek or Roman deity, it’s not a name.

I couldn’t agree more. LeShawn is not a name; it’s an insult to right-thinking. yourhighness is just tomfoolery.

Community Supported Agriculture

The basic idea behind community-supported agriculture is that folks pay a farmer at the beginning of the season, and he delivers them food on a weekly basis. The consumer benefits because the food is in-season and typically organic, pesticide-free or something similar; the farmer benefits because some he’s able to off-load some of his risk. I’ve know about CSA for some time now (I’m pretty certain that my folks used Quail Cove Farms when I was a teenager in Virginia Beach), but hadn’t ever gotten around to signing up for it.

Well, last night I was inspired. I went online and used a number of CSA search engines (LocalHarvest ended up working best for me) and found several farms in my area. Cresset Community Farm have an endearingly bad site and a nice selection of produce, but they’re sold out for the winter and the closest pick-up location is a bit of a haul. Monroe Organic Farms have a nice site and a good selection with decent pick-up location, and I was tempted to go with them, but they’re a tad pricey. I ended up settling for CoastalFields (strange name for farms located thousands of miles from the nearest coast, it’s actually a portmanteau formed from the names of the owners), whose site is beyond atrocious, but who have free delivery, a great selection (they’ll even plant stuff on request!) and good prices. They’ve not been in business long, which is a bit of a risk once they’ve cashed my cheque, but I’m not too concerned.

For $300 I’m getting ¼ bushel of fresh produce weekly from next week until October. That’s over 7 bushels (65 fl. gal.) of vegetables, which works out to around $4.75/gal.—not too shabby. And of course I get the advantage of eating healthy food in season, and can always jar/ferment/salt/pickle any leftovers. I can’t wait to get started!

Of course, we’ll see how I feel at the end of the season…


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