Octopodial Chrome

Perhaps the majority of my blood is Irish---but I cannot be proud of the fact. The Irish are, after all, the inventors of modern-day terrorism; they slew women and children indiscriminately in their revolts against the British Crown, utilising terror killings and such to win their bloody independence. They long refused to recognise the sacrifice of their countrymen in the Great War: while the Protestant war memorial is well-tended, the Catholic one is small, shabby and decrepit. It took 20 years for the city of Dublin to approve a statue of a nationalist Irishman because of three little words: Killed in France (because he died fighting for the English). We are talking about the sort of people who can blather on about reparations for the potato famine, as though the English could be blamed for potato blight. We are talking about traitors who rebelled during the Great War. In the case of the IRA, we are talking about folks fighting on the side of the Nazis in the Second World War: Sean Russell sent bombs into England and travelled to & from Berlin, partly via U-Boat. Worst of all, Éamon de Valera---prime minister of the Irish Republic---visited the German ambassador to convey his official condolences after Hitler's suicide; the Secretary of External Affairs accompanied him and the next day the Irish President did the same.

No, I'm not terribly proud of my Irish heritage.

But the Irish are finally acknowledging their history in the Great War in general and the Battle of the Somme in particular in an excellent manner. One of the better articles details the first day of the battle, a day which started in hope and ended in misery. Another article examines the mistreatment of war veterans by the nationalists: as Ireland became more polarised, Remembrance Day ceremonies faded out to a din of Sinn Fein protests; worse, the IRA murdered over 200 war veterans.

One should note that more Irishmen died in the first two days of the Somme than rebelled in the Easter Uprising. Many were nationalists, yet they fought for King and Country nonetheless.

Ninety years ago on Saturday the Battle of the Somme began. On that first day there were nearly 60,000 casualties; almost 20,000 died. By the end, there would be 600,000 casualties, of whom more than 120,000 died. In a few months an entire generation fell. Practises such as Pals’ Brigades (military units formed of men from the same town, or school, or place of business—a good idea in earlier wars) meant that a few sweeps of a machine gun could cut down all men of fighting age from a village. The terrible new weapons of warfare had never been tested against civilised foes, and tactical doctrine couldn’t find a solution.

And of course the great cost paid by the Allies demanded an equal price be paid by the vanquished Central Powers—and the vindictive Treaty of Versailles led directly the Second World War.

The BBC reports on a Dutch study which has found that church air is chock-full of pollutants from candles and incense. It turns out that church air is ridden with a number of potent carcinogens—more than air beside a road travelled by 45,000 cars per day.

We know how this will turn out: first churches will be asked to cut on candles and incense. Maybe electric lamps will be suggested instead, or plug-in air fresheners. But some churches will adhere to their long-hallowed ways, and the studies will continue to mount up. Then special taxes will be imposed upon candles and incense to discourage their use. And yet still some churches will continue as they always have. Meanwhile, most people will have left such things in the past, and will complain when visiting a traditionalist of the odour of snuffed candles and the reek of smoke and charcoal. And in the end all churches will be banned from using the accessories of their faith, supposedly for the good of their congregations and clergy (who never wanted to let go of their traditions in the first place).

First they came for the smokers, and you didn’t speak up because you weren’t a smoker. Then they came for the overweight, and you didn’t speak up because you weren’t obese. Then they came for the candle-burners…