Octopodial Chrome

Last night I ordered a fast food hamburger (from A&W, my first since perhaps my freshman year in college. It having been so long, I seem to have completely forgotten the cardinal rule: Ask for Meat, Bread & Cheese. And so I received a fine burger covered in lettuce (innoffensive) as well as pickles, onions, tomato and mayonnaise (utterly foul). What human being eats mayonnaise on a burger?!? Why would one waste good beef in such a fashion? The same goes for onions and tomatoes. These are abominations in the eyes of the Lord (it’s somewhere in Ecclesiastes, I’m sure). And why would one ever eat foul fast-food pickles? I love a good pickle: no fast food restaurant has ever served a decent pickle.

To all the burger joints in all the world: quit shoving slop onto my burgers. Give me meat, bread and cheese—I’ll tart my burger up to my own specs, thankyouverymuch.

A Democrat co-worker today posted a bumper sticker which read, The last time someone listened to a Bush, folks wandered around the desert for 40 years. What is amusing about this is, of course, that if the Isrælites had listened to God (the Voice of the burning bush), they wouldn’t have wandered around the desert for 40 years—the wandering was punishment for idolatry or some other such disobedience.

This reminds me of the spelling-challenged idiot who called Bush an idiot, and of course of the Democrats fighting for the votes of the mentally incompetent in the last election (if one cannot figure out a simple ballot, one doesn’t deserve to vote).

It all fits: no-one who is both intellectually honest and educated on the issues can be a leftist—the left is wrong. Thus the Democrats must pander to the liars and the stupid.