Well, the Supreme Court avoided ruling on the constitutionality of the
Pledge of Allegiance, deciding instead that the father in question
lacked standing, as his custody of the girl on whose behalf he brought
the case is in doubt. Rather than skirting the issue, the justices
should have faced the issue like men and decided it one way or
another.
Of course, a close reading of the pledge reveals it to be a rather
ridiculous bit of frippery anyway. For one thing, a pledge of
allegiance
seems to me a pseudo-fascist kind of thing, like a
loyalty pledge or temperance pledge. Let’s examine the vaunted
pledge for just a moment…
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of
America… It’s not bad enough that we have to
pledge allegiance to a mere polity (as opposed to God, or His Law, or
virtue, or something eternal)—we must swear allegiance to a
flag, a mere piece of cloth?!? Be proud of what she
represents, yes; defend she in extremis, certainly—but
pledge to ally oneself with a piece of cloth? Absurd on the face of it.
Lord Spode would be proud.
…and to the republic for which it
stands… This is perhaps the least objectionable passage.
Our fifty states have come together to form a republic, and it’s a
pretty damned good one: the best which has ever been or now is.
I’ll gladly defend her wherever, whenever and however necessary.
Our Constitution is the finest such document yet to exist, and a great
thing in its own right; it’s certainly better than what we have
now, though…
…one nation… Not really. We’re
several different regions, states and polities, each with our
views and traditions. Massachusetts is not California is not Colorado
is not Vermont is not Oregon is not Texas is not Ohio. For that manner,
Hispanics have very little in common with WASPs, although both have more
in common with one another than with Orientals. We are not one nation:
we are many, joined together in a common purpose for our mutual benefit.
E pluribus unum, after all. The United States
isn’t; the United States are.
…under God… Hardly. There’s a
lot of stuff we permit which is not under God. Any religion save
Orthodoxy, for one. That’s a good thing—God gave us free
will. Infanticide, for another—that’s a bad
thing—I’m fairly certain that it’s okay with him if we
punish murderers. The point stands, though: the United States
aren’t under God, save in the sense that all of creation is. The
Founders for the most part were Deists, believers in a clockmaker
god,
a god hardly worthy of the title. They certainly
didn’t, save for perhaps one or two exceptions, believe in God
(not the capital G). That said, it’d be nice for these United
States to bear in mind His existence and Will rather more often than we
do.
…indivisible… Bullshit: complete,
total, utter and unmitigated nonsense. For one thing, we may be divided
into regions: the Northeast; the Southwest; the two Coasts. For
another, we may be divided into states, each of which vies against the
others. For another, we may be divided into counties (or parishes, or
boroughs or whatever your state uses). For another, we may be divided
into cities. It is not at all uncommon for our divided parts to
disagree and argue with one another; in fact, it has come to force of
arms more than once. Yes, we have more in common with one another than
we do with the rest of the globe, but we are not the same. I’ve
more in common with a Texan than with a Yankee (thank God); the Yankee
from Connecticut has more in common with his brethren in New Hampshire
than they all do with a good ol’ boy from Ohio, who in turn has
little to say to a Californian. The glory of our union is precisely
that we are divisible, and yet we remain undivided. A hair is
indivisible; a steel cable is not—yet I know which I’d
rather trust. For all our differences, for all our disagreements, we
are united in the face of our foes. To pretend we are all the same is
to do a profound disservice to every American.
…with liberty and justice for all…
It’s a nice sentiment, but so long as the right to bear arms
remains ignored in many locales; so long as a man hasn’t the right
to face his accusers; so long as Prohibition remains the law of the
land; so long as a man cannot carry a lighter on an æroplane: so
long as these evils hold, we have neither liberty nor justice. To
pretend otherwise is to engage in an act of elaborate
self-deception.
So out of those six glorified clauses, one true, two are commendable
and three are false or ridiculous. Big whoop. Zebras have three
legs and a pair of wings; grass grows in dirt; two and two are three;
people should get along; black is white; and it’d be nice if every
guy and gal met his or her match
would be just as valid to recite,
and possesses the virtue of being a lot more amusing.