Octopodial Chrome

I’ve recently developed a new type of hors d'oeuvre composed of brie, smoked salmon, capers and table water crackers. Damned good stuff.

In an odd story, a Dutch jeweller mailed out 200 diamonds and 3,600 cubic zirconia to his best 3,800 customers, asking people to come in and find out if they were real. Only 30 bothered to show up. I feel sorry for the guy:

It does hurt me that a lot of good diamonds are now lost for ever. I just wanted to do something nice for my clients. People don’t trust anyone these days.

A lesson not to assume that something’s too good to be true. Poor guy.

This article has been retracted.