Newspapers Considered Harmful
The Rocky Mountain News, the better of the two local papers, had the temerity to give me a fortnight’s subscription for free. This is not the boon it seems; rather it’s been an horrible nuisance. Every morning, there’s a paper on my step, which I toss in my hall to read in the evening—which of course I never get around to doing, and so the dashed things pile up, mocking me.
Should I ever have an enemy, I shall subscribe him to both papers.

